Winter. A season that is solely known when tiny transparent ice crystals in clouds stick together to become snowflakes. As winter is coming to an end, so are my days as a first-year college student. I painstakingly waited for the day when I would finish my final exams and end those sleepless nights of studying until my mind could no longer operate.
Summer. A season that reawakens the sleeping flowers from its deep slumber with the glory of the sun. The sheer thought that summer is just around the corner, gave me a sense of warmth and relaxation that eased my mind from my current situation. As I patiently await the moment where I would embrace the summer with open arms, an emotion that I have silently held and hid at the tiny corner of my heart is slowly re-emerging, warning me that the time is about to come.
Sadness. Sad about friends who are leaving. Sad about leaving these memories behind. Sad about short summers and wishing that time would be longer. The memories I have created in my first year are as vivid as if it occurred just yesterday, cherishing these fragmented images that our brain possess at the back of our mind. There will always be a first for everything, but as time goes by, these ‘firsts’ will slowly fade away and become strangers to us. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons why I am feeling this sadness. The unwillingness to let go and the uncertainty of the future.
However, we as individuals shouldn’t delve in the past and force ourselves to live in limbo but face the future with our determined mind. Why should we live in fear and clutch and suffocate these memories? Why should we be afraid of the obscurity of the future? Maybe one of the answers to this enigma is that it is in our nature as humans that we are afraid of the unknown.
If I had to highlight a weakness about myself it would be that I focus too much on the past, blind to the present, and am afraid of the future. Time. Memories. This is what my life revolves around. Time that reflects my biological clock and when I will take my last breath, and memories that are broken down into the past and present. It could be in time, I could let go of my tight hold on these images and slowly let it breath. Bit by bit, allowing it to be a recollection of images in our mind that are no longer familiar to us.
Nonetheless, this does not make us lost in this world. Because in time, we would create new memories and certain memories would remain with us until we find the tranquility in our life.
Submitted by GPRC Student Ambassador, Chelsea Doucet.